This text summarizes a conversation among feminist scholars examining the gendered dimensions of the European border regime, particularly in relation to the underexplored concept of internalization, i.e. how border policies reshape social, political, and normative frameworks. The discussion highlights how borders are gendered, e.g. how discourses and practices around borders often frame migrant men as threats and women as victims. The scholars explore the intersection of gender with race and class, showing how border policies produce gendered as well as racialized subjects. These dynamics extend beyond the border itself, affecting broader societal structures and contributing to the internalization of exclusionary practices within European societies. Against this background, the conversation addresses the lasting effects of colonialism and racialized politics that perpetuate dehumanization and marginalization. Highlighting also questions of methodology and ethical responsibility entailed in researching border regimes, the authors stress the crucial importance of using gender as a critical lens to understand the complex and often violent processes of border internalization.